The 64 theses are an addendum and a reform of Shenalism, which form the primary document of the Nolanistic believers. The 64 theses run as follows:
1. Shenal cannot rescind his own status
2. Shenal, in his persecution of his followers, has isolated himself from his responsibilities to his adherents.
3. Orthodox Shenalism has failed to identify with the needs of the common man
4. A new event in the history of Shenalism has occured, namely the virgin birth of Wilson's shoe.
5. In denying the significance of this event, Shenal has failed to recognize his own heir
6. Wilson's Shoe is secondary to Shenal himself
7. However, Shenal having succumbed to self-doubt, Wilson's Shoe remains as the one true leader of the Shenalites
8. The truth of Wilson's Shoe can only be expressed in the words of the prophet Nolan, the proginator of Wilson's Shoe
9. The adherents to Nolanism respect and abide by all that is explicitly stated in the Book of Dolezal
10. The adherents to Nolanism object to the #Shenal and all other addendums to the doctrines of the Shenal himself.
11. The adherents of Nolanism request a reform of the Shenalites
12. the Adherents of Nolanism request that an ecumenical council be called in the room of Benjamin the Dizzler, to discuss the numerous heresies that have corrupted the doctrines of Shenalism
13. The adherents of Nolanism abjure, reject, and deny all of the claims of the Behrian Heresy pertaining to the Anti-Shenal
14. The aforementioned doctrine is propagated because Shenal, having rescinded his status, loses all priveleges of honoration
15. however, in no way does Doctrine # 14 lessen the importance of Shenal's status
16. it is necessary for Shenal to regain his mantle of the prophet
17. If shenal does not regain this mantle, other prophets must be raised in his stead
18. A second ecumenical council must be called to determine such a prophet
19. Matthew Behr is hereby excommunicated from all responsibilities of the Shenalite faith.
20-63. the numer 64 is to be repeated in each of these theses, so as to emphasize its importance.
64. Having thus amended Shenalism, we hereby affix to this document the seal of Nolanism, and do thus pledge our lives, our fortunes, and the Shut Up.